snob_kj's Xanga

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 05:15:10 GMT

Moving on but not Letting go

No, never again will I go to the comfort room and lock myself in just
to have

some privacy to piteously think of you, cry, sing or do some silly
things

because of you. And no, never will I again think of you last when I
go to sleep.

Sleep is my only rest, so please don't plague me in my dreams.

I've had enough.

No, don't try to reason with me, this is too much.

I will try not to think of you when I wake up in the morning and ask
myself if

somehow you are also awake. I have my own life to lead and my own
life to

think of.

No, I won't even think of you while I'm eating my lunch, wondering if
you're

doing the same thing, because sooner or later I know you will.

I am moving on.

I'll try to wake up in the morning and smile and think not of why you
left but

that once you stayed.

And if I feel the need to cry, it will not be for the future that we
could have, not

for the regrets that I have nor of the anger that I feel, but I will
cry because of a

love that I never was able to share with the one man I felt it for. I
will cry for

the love that was lost, and not for the man who left.

I will give my affections to any man who is in needs of it, but not
my heart

because I'm still trying to get it back from you. I will give him the
love that you

never wanted, the kiss that I so longed to give you and the words
that once

was yours. Worthy or not worthy of it, at least he's here, you're not.

I'll try to hold back the tears when I think of you. I'll just try to
smile.

I am moving on.. and hoping that the next thing would be letting go.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 02:25:10 GMT

WHAT REALLY HURTS...
-letting go of a person u've just learned to love
-reminiscing the good times u shared together
(so true...)
-shielding ur heart to love somebody
-trying to hide what u really feel

-trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from
ur eyes (HAAAAAY!!!)
-loving a person too much
-giving up someone u never thought of giving up
-having the right love at the wrong time
-taking the risk to fall in love again
-hiding ur relationship from someone else
-controlling ur feelings to avoid hurting a friend
-thinking of him every waking and sleeping moment
knowing all the while that he never even thinks a
single thought of you... (waah!!!!)

-letting go, because everytime you see the person, you
only fall deeper (hmmm...)
-holding back only to find out when it's too late, you
both felt the same way, but were only scared to lose
each other so much that you didn't let the feelings
out
-falling inlove with someone you didnt mean to fall
inlove with

-finding the perfect guy...with only one prob....he
doesnt love you... (...)

-helping the one you love "make ligaw" to your friend

-seeing the one you love crying for someone else
-the waiting also hurts like hell
(AHH...YES... THE WAITING...)
-having to hear "... I've met someone"
-agreeing to his wish to 'just be friends'.
-asking his freedom back bcoz 'he'd be happier with
her'
-asking u to 'forget that everything happened' and be
'normal' friends again.
-hearing that you're treated as a little sis..(ang sakit nun!)

-sharing his future plans for the girl with you..
-stopped being friends bcoz his gf asked him to.
-being denied in front of people.
-telling u lies where he'd been when actually, he was
with a 'new friend' or 'old flame' (whew!)
-he told u he'd be leaving u to return to his ex

-breaking someone's heart

-fighting for that one thing that would make you happy
that is, holding on to a person who can not guarantee
you his commitment unless he fix himself...then, you
are left hanging for the moment...then he says, time
will tell...ang labo lang niya...but you still
decided
to hope in him and trust him

-PRETENDING you're OK when inside you're dying...
(BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!!!)
-PRETENDING to be strong.... and RECOGNIZING your
weakness
-lying in bed each night, thinking of that special
person you can never have...

-being with someone you can't actually love...
-pretending you don't love a person whom you actually
love...
-being in love...
-letting go even if you really don't want to... having
no right to say you are huting because it was your
decision

-seeing the person you love hurt because of you... and
not being able to help that person...
-having the courage to say I LOVE YOU to the person
you love and finding out afterwards that things will
never be the same again when he doesnt treat you with
the same closeness as before
-having to face the fact that someone is capable of
completely destroying the wall that you have set for
yourself, leaving you weak and vulnerable
-admitting that you love someove despite his
imperfections

-finding out that the more you try to hate him, the
more you end up loving him, perhaps even more than
before

-the thought that this guy, used to really love you
and you loved him as well but you didn't give enough
and so he gave up on you

-Sharing the one you love with SOMEBODY else.....

-making a promise....and realizing that when the time
has come for that promise to be delivered....the
commitment is no longer there...
-the hardest thing about love - believing it exists.
(kaya nga....)
The old believe everything;
the middle-aged suspect everything;
the young know everything.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 02:21:00 GMT

NOONG IN-LOVE KA PA
> >
> > Ang sarap ng in-love. Sa unang beses niyo mag-date
> > tapos naramdaman niyo
> > ang sinasabi nilang "spark" nako, magkaharap pa kayo
> > naiisip mo na ang bukas
> > Para matawagan mo na siya at maayang makipag-date
> > ulit, pero sa susunod
> > kayong dalawa na lang. Hindi ka mapakali pag wala
> > siya sa tabi mo o hindi
> > mo siya nakakausap sa isang araw, sigurado at
> > sigurado tatawagan mo siya sa
> > opisina, sa bahay at pag wala doon maglo-load ka sa
> > cellphone mo at uubusuin
> > ang 300 na prepaid sa loob ng isang tawag na wala
> > naman ibang laman kundi
> > bungisngis, kamustahan at kuento tungkol sa lahat ng
> > sama ng loob mo sa mga
> > ex mo. At ang goodbye sa telepono ay nde
> > matapos-tapos, hindi niyo malaman
> > kung sino ang unang magbababa at umaasa kang me
> > "Take care" sa huli. Me
> > email pa yan sa umaga para masabi mo sa kanya na
> > masaya ka na nakapag-usap
> > kayo.
> >
> > Minsang gumimik kayo at upbeat ang sounds, hala!
> > sayaw ka kahit parehong
> > Kaliwa nag mga paa mo, pero gusto niyang sumayaw
> > kaya sige sasayaw ka na
> > rin. Kahit ilang mule, arctic at sub-zero ang
> > orderin niya wala kang
> > pakialam, mas mabuti nga kse nga puede mo na siyang
> > akbayan at I-hug pag
> > medio lasing na siya, pag hindi siya pumalag nako!
> > score! para kang nasa
> > langit. Malamang, matapos mo siyang ma-hug eh ayaw
> > mo nang maligo at lagi
> > mong naaalala ang scent ng pabango niya na me halong
> > amoy alcohol na pero
> > para sa yo mabango pa din siya. At siempre tuwing
> > matapos kayong gumimik eh
> > ayaw mo pa rin matapos ang gabi kaya hihirit ka pa
> > ng coffee, kahit isandaan
> > ang isang baso, "So what?!?" kamo, pera lang yan ang
> > importante kasama mo
> > siya. Masaya ka rin pag na-traffic kayo kse
> > makakapagkuentuhan pa kayo
> > pauwi. Matiyaga mong inaral ang pagda-drive ng
> > manual gamit lang ang isang
> > kamay kse yun isa hawak yun kamay niya o nakadantay
> > sa hita niya habang
> > nagmamaneho ka.
> >
> > Araw-araw magmamakaawa ka na ihatid mo siya at kung
> > puede ka rin niyang
> > Ihatid pauwi, at kung lulusot baka pati lunch eh
> > puede na rin na kayo ang
> > maging lunchmates. Pag me free time ka eh nasa
> > bookstore ka para nagtingin
> > ng mga puedeng ibigay na greeting cards. Nakalimutan
> > mo na ang barkada mo,
> > para sa yo malaking abala lang sila sa napakagandang
> > lovelife mo kesehodang
> > magtampo pa sila sa yo at magsolian na kayo ng
> > kandila sa inaanak mo sa
> > kanila. At kung aalis man kayo nde ka magkasya sa
> > pagte-text lang sa lab mo,
> > kelangan mong pumunta sa banyo para lang
> > magkarinigan kayo pag tinawagan mo
> > siya at sabihin na nde ka nag-eenjoy at mas gusto mo
> > na siya ang kasama.
> > Pagdating ng weekend nako para kang intsik! alas
> > dies pa lang ng umaga nasa
> > kanila ka na at me dalang suhol na breakfast para sa
> > nanay niyang
> > nakasimangot dahil natutulog pa ang anak niya eh
> > andun ka na. Pagdating ng
> > gabi kahit antok na antok na siya eh ayaw mo pa ring
> > umuwi, hinihintay mong
> > makatulog siya sa mga bisig mo para makanakaw ka
> > ulit ng kiss. Iniisip mo
> > rin kung kelan ka kaya niya ipapakilala sa friends
> > niya?
> >
> > Nung kayo na, lahat ng monthsary ice-celebrate niyo,
> > me kasama pang surprise
> > na regalo at date. At nde miminsan mong nabanggit na
> > gusto mo na siyang
> > Pakasalan at wala nang ibang babae sa puso at wala
> > ka nang makikita na
> > katulad niya.
> >
> >
> > AFTER ONE YEAR
> >
> >
> >
> > Mahal ang gimik sa bar, mas maganda kung kakain na
> > lang kayo sa Jollibee at
> > manonood ng sine.
> >
> > Wag na kayo magkape, masyadong mahal with matching
> > comment na "Leche, me
> > ginto ba yan?"
> >
> >
> > Mas gusto mo nang kasama barkada mo dahil "minsan"
> > lang kayo magkita sa
> > isang linggo.
> >
> > Pgakahatid mo sa kanya, nagmamadali kang umuwi sa
> > gabi dahil pagod ka na sa
> > trabaho.
> >
> > Pumapasok at umuuwi na siya mag-isa dahil nde mo
> > siya masusundo dahil puyat
> > ka.
> >
> > Syet! wag ka niyang pipiliting sumayaw at
> > nakakahiya.
> >
> >
> > Anong tawag? Sa load mong 300, mauubos yun at 1
> > beses mo lang tinext
> > (against 245 na text niya sa yo) at 3 minutes mo
> > siyang natawagan. Naubos
> > ang load mo kakatawag sa mga barkada mo at kaka
> > forward ng joke sa kanila.
> >
> > Pag weekend mas gusto mong manood na lang ng TV o
> > matulog. Pupunta ka lang
> > Pag tumawag na siya at nagmamakaawang dalawin mo
> > naman siya at me suhol na
> > ipinagluto ka niya.
> >
> > Kahit automatic na kotse mo nde mo pa rin makuhang
> > hawakan ang kamay niya
> > habang namamaneho ka.
> >
> > Magastos ang mga monthsary, kung anniversary niyo
> > nga eh wala kang regalo,
> > monthsary pa?!?
> >
> > Mag-uusap kayo? Baket me problema ba? Kung wala,
> > isang oras kang manonood ng
> > TV habang siya eh nakatutulog na kahihintay na
> > kausapin mo siya.
> >
> >
> > Miss na niyang ini-email mo siya,sagot mo? "Jusko
> > naman araw-araw na Tayong
> > nag-uusap ano pa ba naman ang sasabihin ko sa yo?
> > Baka gusto mo pa ng
> > card?!?"
> >
> > Pag aayain ka niya para gumimik with her friends ang
> > sagot mo? "Utang na
> > loob, kung gusto mong lumabas kasama friends mo ikaw
> > na lang mag-isa at
> > naiilang ako."
> >
> > Pero pag lalabas kayo with your friends umiinit ulo
> > mo pag tahimik siya pag
> > nagjo-joke sila tungkol sa inyo ng ex mo sabay
> > tanong "Nde ka ba nag-eenjoy?
> > Buiset, umuwi na nga lang tayo!"
> >
> > At tungkol naman sa kasal..."Jusko naman, nde mo ba
> > ako maintindihan?!? Wala
> > pa akong pera saka nde ko maiisip yan ngayon! Sana
> > wag ka namang makulit."
> >
> > Sa lahat ng ito, ngingiti na lang siya, iisipin
> > lahat ng ginagawa mo noong
> > nanliligaw ka pa malamang umaasa pa yun na babalik
> > yun dati sabay
> > buntung-hininga at sabi ng malakas..."Kay sarap ng
> > in-love."

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 02:19:41 GMT

MAHAL?! naku ha... wag mo sasabihin yan pag di ka sigurado... dami na
nabiktima nyang sailta na yan... ang bigat pa naman nyan.. bka di mo
lang kayanin....

pano mo nga ba malalaman na MAHAL mo na nga ang isang tao?

lagi mo syang gusto makita.... lagi mo gusto marinig ang kanyang
malambing na boses... na kapag narinig mo na... hay... heaven
tlga.... lahat ng problema mo.. limot mo na... OK lang sa inyong
dalawa na tahimik sa telepono.. kahit sa loob looban mo e... your
dying to hear her voice na! at pag hello nman niya.... sh*t!
sarap..... =) ano pa ba? a.... pag di mo sya nakausap.. kulang ang
araw mo... at nagaalala ka kung ayos lang ba sya... grabe! iba tlga
pag MAHAL mo ang isang tao no?!

pero....

yan nga lang ba ang batayan kapag mahal mo ang isang tao?

basta alam mo sa loob mo.... kahit hindi mo sinasabi sa taong mahal
mo na mahal mo sya.... ayos na yun! at naipapadama mo sa kanya.....
na kahit hindi mo banggitin na mahal mo sya... damang dama nya... na
mahal mo sya... higit pa sa buhay mo....

mahal mahal mahal..... puro na lang MAHAL noh......

sa akin kaya??? kelan kaya dadating yung PRINCESS ko....? yung taong
magmamahal sa akin ng totoo... walang biro... walang lokohan.... yung
totoo.....

asan na kya siya?......

pero..... kahit nasan pa sya...... maghihintay ako...... sabi nga ng
iba e..... "TRUE LOVE is worth the WAIT"

kaya mga pare.. pag nakita nyo na ung tipo ng taong minamahal ng
habang buhay... wag nyo na papakawalan.... minsan lang dumating yan
sa buhay natin.... bka magsisi ka lang sa huli kpag pinabayaan mo
siya.... at sabihin mo... "sayang.... bat ko pa pinakawalan.." HOLD
ON TO THE PERSON THAT YOU THINK YOU'LL LOVE FOR THE REST OF YOUR
LIFE... medyo madrama yan... pero seriously... totoo yan..... di mo
alam sya na pala yun.. kaya lang.. sa kagaguhan mo.... nawala na....

kaya ako..... cge... inaamin ko.... tingin ko sa mga babae noon....
easy to get..... at pinaglalaruan.... pero.... nagbago ang lahat
ngayon..... nang mawala sa akin ang taong mahal ko..... pinabayaan ko
siya... at ngayon... nagsisisi ako..... gusto kong bumalik sa
kanya...... maghihintay lang ako ng tamang panahon....... at sana....
may babalikan pa ako..... DO or DIE.....

..........................TRUE LOVE is worth the wait....

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 02:03:09 GMT

a girl 2ld a guy

U said one day isn't enough to luv me..not enough for forever..

THIS IS WHAT A GIRL TOLD A GUY:

If you see me walking on the road with someone else, It's not because I like his accompany... It’s because you're not brave enough to walk beside me. If you hear me talking about him all the time Its not because he pleases me Its because you're too deaf to hear my heartbeat If you feel me falling with someone new Its not because I love him.. But because you're not there to catch me fall If you feel lost, I too am nowhere I too don't know where the road is going Are we gonna cross each other's path Or just completely turn around?.. Will we just let go of what we had Or go to the place where love is bound Don't let me walk with him, It's you I want to walk with.. Don't let me talk of him, it's you I want to talk with.. Don't let me fall for him, It's you I want to fall in love with..

"HOW DID THE GUY REPLY?"

When you thought I wasn't brave enough to walk beside you I was behind you every step of the way Still filled with awe because of the beauty that stand before me When you thought I was too deaf to hear your heartbeat I didn't want to assume anything And I was afraid to lose our friendship When you thought I wasn't there to catch you, It was because you never gave me the chance You never reached the bottom, you've already grabbed a branch If you feel like you are nowhere, I too am lost I too don't know where the road is going Are we just going to turn around, Or are we gonna cross each other's path? Will we just let go of what we had Or go to the place where love is bound? Don't let me walk alone I want to walk by your side Don't let me talk of something else It's you I want to talk with Don't let me fall for someone else It's you I want to fall in love with. WHEN I SAW YOU... I WAS AFRAID TO TALK TO YOU... WHEN I TALKED TO YOU... I WAS AFRAID TO HOLD YOU... WHEN I HOLD YOU... I WAS AFRAID TO LOVE YOU... NOW THAT I LOVE YOU ... I'M AFRAID TO LOSE YOU... SOMETIMES LOVE HURTS... BUT IF IT DOESN'T HURT... THEN IT ISN'T LOVE... HOLD ON TO THE PERSON U LOVE... BEFORE HE/SHE SLIPS AWAY... AND U CAN NEVER GET HIM/HER BACK....

Monday, August 08, 2005

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 01:16:10 GMT

ei...

kakatapos lang ng physio namen...

l8r patho nman...

tapos lunch...

tapos reporting...

tapos ruminant lec na nakakaantok...

then mycology...

tapos uwian...

san ko kaya isisngit si moks?!

pede bang iextend ng 1 hr ang day na 2?!

hay buhay....

smile ka na lang para walang sabit...

db...

d2 ex ko..

3 seats away from me...

pansinin ko ba?!

wag na lang...

snob din naman xa eh...

para naman ala kaming pinagsamahan...

ewan...

bahala na si batman...

...

;)

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 02:45:48 GMT

The Best Version of You...

Manila International Airport, 2:00 am. It's been two
years since she
had last seen the Manila International Airport. Not
much has changed.
Her last memory of this airport was when Miguel
dropped her off. She
was on her way to New York to pursue a career in
Wall Street.

"Promise me something will you? Please don't get
married until I come
back?" She jokingly told him as she lifted up her
backpack.

"LOL. Very funny. Ikaw ang mag-promise. Promise
me you won't run off
with some nerdy economist in the next two years."

"Let's see, shall we. Bye, Miguel. I'll call you as
soon I get to New
York."

That was her last memory in this place. The warm
Manila air made her
feel a bit restless and yet she feels excited. This is

the first time
in two years she'll be seeing Miguel again. She
was thoughtfully going
through the immigration counters, thinking of how
much she missed
seeing Miguel. How different would he be now?
Sure he sends her
regular weekly e-mails and pictures but being the
busy person that she
had always been, she didn't get the time to chat
with him and buy a
webcam.

She's finally out. "Where is Miguel?" She
wondered. "Ah there!" she
exclaimed when she saw the silver gray Nissan
Patrol parked near the
exit. TGW926. Yup, that's Miguel alright. Her heart
was leaping ahead
of her as the driver got off.

"Hey! I missed you!" He said, as he hugged her.

"I missed you too. So much." She said, as she
hugged him back. It was
warm. It felt good to be back. It felt great to feel
his
hug.

"Let me get those." He said pointing at her
luggage. "Then we'll have
more time for hugging and chika."

"Okay."

Edsa, 4:30 am. Miguel's cellphone rings. Mama,
the name flashes on the
screen.

"You should really get that."

"No, you should get that. She's been waiting for
you. She insist that
we go straight to her after I pick you up form the
airport. She also
insist that you spend tomorrow with her." Miguel
was talking about her
mother. Miguel was an only child and his mother
wanted a daughter. She
would often tell Bea that since she doesn't have a
mom anymore, she
should let Tita Doris be her second mom. She
loved Bea as if she were
her own daughter.

"Hello? Yes, Tita. How are you nap po?... ah opo.
Miguel already told
me. Sige po. Okay po. I'll see you later." She turns
off the phone and
looks out the window. The phone rings again, this
time the name
"Sugar" flashes on the screen. Hmmm, "Sugar."
He was quick. He got a
hold of the phone and answered it. "Hello. Yeah.
Pauwi na. I'm with
her na. Yeah. Tomorrow, I will. Promise. We'll see
you tomorrow."

We? Is that supposed to mean me and him? See
Sugar? Who is Sugar,
anyway? "Who was that?" she couldn't keep
herself from asking. "Sugar
ha?"

"I'll introduce her tomorrow. Uwi muna tayo sa
bahay. By the way,
kamusta na si Edward?" "Edward?"

"Oo, si Edward, naalala mo yung boyfriend na
iniwan mo sa New York?
Anong klase ka ba naming girlfriend? Kaya hindi
kita niligawan eh.
Baka makalimutan mo rin ako."

"Ah si Edward. Hayun. Nasa New York." Miguel
has met Edward when he
came to New York to give Bea a surprise visit. He
seems a nice guy.
Not the geeky economist Miguel pictured Bea
would end up with. He is
actually a cool guy and loves Bea a lot.

"He called me up, a week ago, asking a lot of
things about you. Parang
may balak ata..."

"Balak na?"

"Tell me, did he propose to you? He sounded like
he was going to
propose to you kasi."

"Ah look, here we are at Tita Doris."

At Tita Doris', 4:45 am. A pleasantly plump woman
enters the living
room. She was in her mid-fifties, a familiar warm
smile and two open
arms. She welcomed Bea, gave her a big hug and
kissed her on the
cheek. "Hay anak, kamusta ka na? Na-miss na
kita. Pinakain ka ba nito
si Miguel?" "Opo, Tita." She looked around. Not much
has
changed in this house.
She remembers spending her college days in this
house. She remembers
sinking into Tita Doris' arms when her mom died.
She remembers only
good things about this woman. She can't
remember a time when she had
been unkind to her and yes, she loves her like her
own mother.

"Iha, sabihan mo nga yang si Miguel. Sabihin
mo 'wag padalos-dalos
magdesisyon."

"Po?"

"Mama naman. Let Bea rest. I'll tell her everything
tomorrow." Miguel
interrupted his mother before she can spill the
beans.

"Ha? What was that all about?" Bea was curious.

"Bukas na lang."

"Okay. Tita, if it's okay I'll go rest now." She
hugged her, and
proceeded to climb the stairs. Miguel followed her
carrying her
luggage.

"Alam mo I missed this house. Uy sino ba si
Sugar? Tsaka bakit parang
worried nanay mo sa iyo?"

"Bukas na. Sugar is having lunch here."

"Hmmm, intriguing, pero sige. Bukas na." They
were both standing as
the door to the guest room. "Alam mo, it's really
good to be back in
this house. I'll see you tomorrow."

Tita Doris' 10:00 am. She woke up, sunlight
flooding her bedroom. She
was able to rest. She got up, arranged the bed
sheets and took a nice,
cold shower. Minutes later, she was down at the
garden having brunch
with Tita Doris.

"Hi! Tita. Where is Miguel?"

"Sinundo si Sugar."

"Sino ba yang Sugar na yan? Nai-intriga na ako."
"Iha, I'll let Miguel tell you who Sugar is. Promise
me something,
though. Whatever happens you'll always be my
daughter, Bea?"

She felt scared. Why was Tita Doris suddenly
serious? "Opo naman."

"Anyway, iha. I heard from Miguel your boyfriend
sounded like he was
going to propose a week ago. Did he propose?"

Bea looked at her hands, bare of any engagement
ring. She looked at
Tita Doris and smiled. Before she could answer,
Miguel showed up. With
him is a woman she had not seen before. She was
of medium frame,
shoulder length hair and looked very feminine.

"Sugar, the sister I never had, Bea. Bea, Sugar,
my fiance`." It felt
as if somebody had thrown cold water on her. His
what? Blood rushed to
her head. She blushed. Her cheeks felt very warm.
She couldn't
swallow. Her heart beating a hundred beats per
minute.

"Your what?" She looked at Miguel, blushing then
suddenly white as
with shock. "I'm sorry, Sugar but this is quite a
surprise. Miguel has
never mentioned you in any of his e-mails," she
said as she looked at
Sugar with a confused look. She looked at Tita
Doris, she looked back
as if she was consoling her.

"Yeah, I got engaged. I'm keeping my promise. I'm
getting married on
Saturday. O di ba you're here so in essence I've
kept my promise."

She managed to smile faintly. She hugged Miguel
and congratulated him.
She even managed to tell Sugar "You got a catch
here, girl. Take good
care of him or else I will snatch him under your
nose." It sounded as
if she was just joking, turning over a very important
possession to
it's next owner. In the deepest recesses of her
person, she knew she
meant it.

"He told me a lot of nice things about you." Sugar
said, smiling at
her as if they had been friends for the longest time.

"I'm sure he has."

Lunch was served. All of Bea's favorite Filipino
dishes. She and Sugar
spent time chatting the afternoon away, looking at
Bea's and Miguel's
college photos and yearbooks. She found out that
Sugar likes most of
the things she does. They both came from the
same high school. As she
tried to get to know Sugar better during their
afternoon chat, she
realized that not only was she perfect for Miguel,
she also seemed
like the best gal pal Bea could find. They talked
about the wedding
details, the dress, the ring, the shoes, the tiara.
They like almost
the same places, the same styles, the same
shops. She told Sugar they
should do shopping marathon together. Had it
been another day, she
would be telling herself that this is really a great
opportunity to find someone who
understands her shopping needs. Except that this
woman, this perfect, feminine girlfriend was
Miguel's fiance`. Bea's phone rings. The name
Boyfriend flashes. "You should really get that"
Sugar told Bea. "Yeah, I guess I should. Hello?
Yes? I'm good. I'm here at Miguel's. Oh I have in
front of me Sugar, Miguel's fiance`." The words
almost got stuck in her throat, but she still
managed to give Sugar a smile. "Listen, I'll call
you later. I have very good news for you." Miguel
sat down beside Bea. Sugar was looking at them
and asked "So tell me? Was there never a time
the two of you were more than Platonic?" Bea and
Miguel looked at each other then looked at their
own hands. He answered "Of course not. Bea and
I were never like that." "As in?" Sugar
inquired. "LOL, oo naman. She was a handful. Too
much to handle for me. I can't keep up with her.
She's never stands still." Miguel looked at Bea
and smiled, his eyes turning into slits as his
dimples gloriously show. "I guess that's the way
for you. But not for Edward." Bea replied, with a
little hint of disappointment. "Okay lang yun.
Edward is tough enough." Miguel was still
smiling. "Wait, speaking of Edward. I need to call
him." Bea left the garden and went up to her room
to call Edward. "Hello? Edward. Here goes. Yes.
The answer is Yes." The wedding went well. It
was one of the most elegant weddings she had
seen. Sugar had everything covered and she was
a very beautiful, blushing bride. "I, Miguel, take
you, Sugar, as my friend and love, beside me and
apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict
and tranquility, asking that you be no other than
yourself, love what I know of you, trusting what I
do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find
us." Bea felt a stab of pain hitting her heart. She
slowly got up. Tears streaming down her flushed
cheeks. Bea is once again on her way to the
airport. Miguel is driving for her, this time with a
wedding ring on his left finger. "Hay, here we go
again. I'm driving you to the airport. Kailan na
naman kaya tao magkikita?" "Ewan ko. Tell me
something," her tone all too serious. "What was it
that you love about Sugar? How did you know she
was the one?" Miguel just smiled. "Dali na ano?
Malay mo I need to decide in a couple of days
diba?" "You know what I love about her? The
same things I loved about you before. The only
difference is that she's not as ambitious as you
are. When you left for New York two years ago, I
knew I don't have a place in the life you've chosen.
I don't blame you for that. You're good in your field
and I thought to myself that it's your right to move
on without me. Moving away was a decision you
made for yourself. I know this sounds silly and you
might nag me about it but I found the better
version of you in Sugar. She's so much like you in
so many ways but the only difference is she loves
me more than you do." She wanted to cry but
kept her composure. She just chuckled a laugh.
How could he move on without her? Why was it
easy for him and not for her? As she got off the
car, she gave Miguel one last hug. This time she
felt her heart heavy. "I guess this is goodbye?" she
told "Wait, I'm not letting you out until you
answer question. Did Edward propose?" Bea
showed Miguel her left hand. In it was a one carat
diamond solitaire ring set in platinum. "Yes."
Miguel let out a sigh and congratulated her. As
Miguel turned his gaze from the steering wheel to
Bea's face, he saw a single tear fall from her right
eye and then she said, "If it gives any consolation.
Edward was the best version of you that I can find
in New York." DoN't LEt gO tOo sOon bUt dON't
HaNg On tOo lOnG when loving someone never
regret what u did ... only regret what u never did ..
its not a matter of finding the right person ... but
its
a matter of being the right person 4 the one u
choose to LOVE....

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 02:32:28 GMT

mejo nakakarelate me d2... hehehehe...

i have this friend na kasama ko sa work.. he's 8 yrs older than me.. he's still single pero dami nyang girls.. actually lahat nman ng girls nya alam ko kasi nagkukwento sya sa kin. alam na alam ko na ung likaw ng bituka nya. ganon din nman ako sa kanya. alam nya rin kung ano ako. nagstart lang tong kakaibang feeling ko last week kasi my friends keep on telling me na he's treating me differently from others. actually, yun din nman napapansin ko before pero hindi ko lang pinagtutuunan ng pansin. lagi kasi kami magkasama. pag kailangan ko sya isang tawag lang dadating na. one time ung nasiraan kami ng mom ko, sya tinawagan ko.. punta nman sya agad.. sabi ng mom ko na nkakahiya nman at baka naistorbo namin sya.. pero ang sabi nya okay lang daw un kasi malakas nman daw me sa kanya.. dami na talaga syang mga ginagawa na kakaiba.. kahit nga sa opis tinutukso na kami... one time nga may pupuntahan sya tapos sabi ko hatid mo muna me eh out of the way yun sa pupuntahan nya.. wala hinatid pa rin ako... pag nakakain kayo nakikisahre sya sa ulam ko at ganon din me... we even drink on the same glass... minsan nagpabili me sa kanya ng food, akala ko hindi bibili kasi tamad un sa mga pautos. pero ayun bumili pa rin talaga at sya pa ung pumila para mabili lang yun.. one time naman sabi lang sa kanya gusto ko ng donut.. maya mayang konti may donut na kong kinakain... hay naku! dapat hindi ko nman naiisip tong mga bagay na ginawa nya.. ung friend ko kasi sabi wag daw me dense... pano ko ba malalaman kung platonic lang talaga tong relationship nmin...

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 02:17:31 GMT

wag kukurap... from phil.ghost stories...

Shaking Bed

I was in the 3rd year of my I.T. course, and I had been sleeping late. One night, after spending three hours using my PC, I decided it was time to sleep. It was 2:00 am.

I prepared my blanket and my pillow. After I lay down in bed I noticed that my blanket was mysteriously moving off me and down the floor—as if someone is pulling it. I did not think a lot for that since I was so sleepy. So I pulled it back and eventually fell asleep.

Later that night I was awaken by the shaking of my bed! It was like someone was shaking it! And I realized that something was "rattling" under there.

I looked under the bed and the face of an old lady appeared and moved close to my face!

After that I don't know what happened. I just woke up lying on the floor, with bruises. My family told me that it was just my imagination. But it wasn't. They don't know how real it was!

Ghost in the Bathroom

I was never one who believed in ghosts following people around... until one day my bestfriend came to my house.

By the way, my house is a very old house and it's been said that entities also live here. Ghosts, dwende*, and my cousin even told me that he saw the devil here.. two times actually.

Anyway, when my bestfriend was here he said she needed to pee. I led her to the bathroom on the 1st floor.

Shortly after she ran out of the bathroom.. scared.. she told me.. "May multo ng babae sa banyo nio.. mahaba ung hair.. nakaputi!" (There's a ghost of a lady with long hair wearing white dress in your bathroom.)

I asked her "Nakaihi ka ba?" (Did you get a chance to pee?) [Ed. Ha, ha!]

Then she said "Umurong na ihi ko ayoko na!" (I don't wanna pee anymore.)

Apparently, she wasn't the only one who saw that ghost in our bathroom. My cousin's friend also saw it and they had the exact same description. For several days in school, my bestfriend kept telling me that she always sees this ghost BEHIND ME.. it was following me.. I dont even know what it wants from me.

*In Philippine folklore, the dwende are little spirits, usually helpful and friendly, but when offended they can cause sickness and even death. They live in houses and occupy themselves by singing, making noise, and throwing sand and pebbles. They sometimes knock over kitchen utensils. "Dwende." Encyclopedia Mythica from Encyclopedia Mythica Online.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 04:34:46 GMT

My Best friend, Her Boyfriend, and Me

The winds are blowing strong its cold and you
thought,
sarap matulog!
You were about to lie on your bed when the phone
rang.
bwisit!
was all you can grumble as you stood up to
answer the phone.
It was your best friend and she
was crying on the other line, you just said
Hey, whats wrong?
She was crying so bitterly and admit it, you feel
her pain. She said
I love him so much! Id die if he leaves me!
You felt,
Duh? Ok ka lang?
You feel like laughing and then all you had to say
was
Tigilan mo nga yan! Drama mo naman!
You cant help it! tinawanan mo siya but you
feel a bit of conscience inside and naisip mo
Why did I say those words? Ang sama ko naman!
Your best friend continued her sobs and you were
about to say sorry when in split of seconds, she
was gone on line. You put the receiver down, you
went back to your room and lied down on the bed,
thinking, thinking and thinking. Your eyes were sore,
complaining to have a sleep when
rriiinnnggg! ( Obviously, the phone rang!)
hmmp! Sino na naman kaya to?
You rose and answered
Hello!!!
Hey, can I ask you a favor? I really need your help
please?
It was your best friends boyfriend
Ano na naman?
You felt so annoyed.
I need to go to the hospital kasi yung friend ko
naaksidente, pwede drop-by ka dito sa bahay?
Tonight lang please?
He pleaded so kindly and sweetly that you had no
choice but to say
Sure, kaw pa!
Then, in just half an hour, you saw yourself in front
of the gate of your best friends boyfriend's house
and you said to yourself.
Tama ba tong ginagawa ko?
Then you went inside.
He just left for the hospital and you were watching
T.V.
It was half past eleven already. It started to rain
and you felt the coldness of the air,
Now I can sleep! Wala na istorbo!

You closed the windows and the doors, then
tok! tok! tok! (a knock on the door)
You thought
Bumalik na siya? Ok na siguro yung friend niya
You stood up and opened the door.
O! Why are you here? Basang-basa ka ng ulan ah!
At hating-gabi na!
It was your best friend, all wet up from the rain, her
clothes were dirty and she looked pale and
miserable.
Then she looked at you with her eyes all swelled
up from crying and said in a cold voice
Ikaw? Bakit ka nandito?
You felt like your best friend is having doubts of
why you are in her boyfriends house but you
couldnt speak a word so you went into the kitchen
to get a towel.
Magpunas ka nga, bakit ka ba nag-paulan?
Your best friend sat at the corner of the sofa and
again, she looked at you, just looked at you long.
You were going to explain why you were there
when the phone rang.
Sagutin ko lang ha
you said to her,
Hello? O! What happened to your friend? Ayos na
ba siya? Nasa hospital ka pa?

You looked at your best friend and signed that her
boyfriend is on the line, but she just looked at you,
just looked at you.
Then, her boyfriend said in a gloomy tone,
Punta ka dito sa hospital, yung best friend mo,
iniwan niya na tayo nag suicide siya, punta ka
dito
He cut the line. The receiver of the phone fell from
your hands as you turn your back and looked at
your best friend who looked at you with all her wet
hair in her pale face and her muddy clothes. At the
dark corner of the house, she sat staring at you
and whispered in a hushed voice

Why are you here?

and then stared at you, just stared at you long

ano gagawin mo?